Tuesday, February 12, 2008


"Mommy...What's A Climax?...And I don't mean the kind in a book either!" Yes, this was the question that was posed to me, by my son, just a couple of years ago. However, I remember it like it was yesterday and I was completely mortified! At this point, I am stalling trying to think of a quick, yet appropriate answer. Instead, all I could think of was: "Well, where did you get that from?". His response being: "I heard it in school." punctuated with a sideways smirk that indicated, he possibly already knew the answer. Aaaargh!!!! Why me? Why now? I'm not ready for this yet! I'm beginning to feel alone in this dillemma...lol but, it's obvious that I am not the only single momma out there with this predicament. In an episode that my co-worker/friend Tionna H. recalled to me, she too, had to figure out how to explain the old adage of "the birds and the bees" to her son:

"One day my son (who was 9 or 10 at the time) and I were talking and I asked him was there any questions he had about sex. He said no but he did wonder about breasts. He said, him and a friend were outside the school and an older girl was running near them and she had fairly big breasts. The friend said “wow she has a lot of breast milk in there, I’d drink a whole gallon” So my son wanted to know why some girls had milk and some didn’t. He said he knew I didn’t because mine were too small. It took everything in me to answer him with a straight face."

It is times like these, that a day in the life of SingleMommaHood can be somewhat perplexing. I mean you don't want to lie but, then again you don't want to tell the truth. You wish that they were babies again, when they didn't ask questions and all they did was eat, sleep, cry & poop! And being the mother of boy child, it's one of those "Damn! Where's his dad when I need him" moments. So, what do you do? At the end of the day, as always, honesty is the best policy. Be straight forward but, careful to choose appropriate and understandable language, without sugar coating the issue. You can also be creative, without being vulgar. As most of us know, kids have a greater understanding of life than we like to give them credit for. Don't hesitate to be straight up because, they surely don't and won't, with us.

Oh yeah...How did I answer that question, you ask? Well it went a little somethin' like this:

"Well, the kind of climax that you're talking about, is very much like those in a book. Just like in a book you have all the excitement and suspense, where it builds up to the best part of the story. Well the climax in sex is the best part of a story but, the build up is more like an explosion that makes your whole body feel good."

Fortunately for me, this answer was good enough...until the very next week: "Mommy, what's a p****! (Yeah, figure it out).

Monday, January 14, 2008

Let's Get It Started!!!!

Instead of going into some long-winded soliloquy about who I am and how great it is to be a mom, I'm just gonna jump right into the first installment:


Ok...So, I have a 13 year old son, with whom I am blessed to say, have a very close relationship with. This is not to say however, that we don't have our obstacles. Although we can talk about almost anything, there is something about this pubescent stage in his life, that has totally fried his brain and any common sense that he may have been born with! There are times when I can look at him and see remnants of the little angel that I gave birth to but, as of late, it seems those times are so few and far between. Between the constant mood swings; the "out of the blue" sex questions; the acne and the newfound vanity (since he's just now realizing that he really is cute); I think the most frustrating part of all this for me is his SMART *SS MOUTH!!!! I mean I can't take it! Now, it wouldn't be as bad, if he did it "old-school" style and talked about me to himself, under his breath, after he got back to his room but, NOOOOO...Not my kid. My kid, will mumble something that is actually, halfway decipherable and then when I question him about it, he has the nerve and audacity to give me the silent stare down, as if he is challenging me!!!!! So, I think to myself, "Is he crazy????", knowing full well that he is just being down right indignant. Well, at this point, there are only three things that I can do: 1) Talk to him 2) Put him on restriction or 3) Slap him.

Of course, my first inclination is to take option 3 (because it would make me feel better) and option 2 doesn't fare well, in my home because he has trained himself to be content without material distractions (i.e., playstation, t.v., iPod, etc.) and he doesn't really "hang" with the homeboys of the neighborhood, so restricting him just doesn't work. He'll just lay in his bed until he falls asleep & that doesn't seem to bother him (it just irritates the h*ll out of me). However, I normally relent to my better judgement and choose option 1. Talking can be (for the most part), very theraputic for us both. For one, it forces me to calm down and get to the root of his problem and secondly, it saves him from a major beat down! Now, don't get it twisted...Although I joke, I really do believe in corporal punishment within reason but, I also say that I shouldn't have to be pushed to a point where I do resort to being violent toward my own child...because at this age, spankings are borderline. Whereas, reasonable corporal punishment is no longer a spanking...it's a fight. Needless to say, the majority of the time, allowing him the option of verbal expression, while still being firm about the rules and reinforcing the value of respect, will work...On the other hand, on the days that talking just doesn't seem to get it anymore, then I go by this everlasting bible passage: "Spare the rod and spoil the child"...Simply put: "Beat his *ss!"